I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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