And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize