Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
