do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
