Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
