Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
