Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
