i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
