this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
