dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
