i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
