I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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