I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
from now on my penis is your penis
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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