your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
