And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
