I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
