I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
