You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize