u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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