how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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