That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
