There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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