Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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