member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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