apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
wow bdsm is so cute
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
