Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize