I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
