You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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