Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
