I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
