His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
