Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
