Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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