I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Farmville is her only friend.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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