Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize