I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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