I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
