There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Randomize