Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
