If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
