i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
