It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
