I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
