Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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