we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
