Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
