Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
