Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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