I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
