Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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