You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
