hotel room ftw
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
