i barfeds in our rink
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize