I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
