dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
where are you?
Hypothermia
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
