i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
